Pls Help Before I Kill Myself… Needs Your Advice Urgently!

Please note that this is a very serious situation. Someone sent us this in an email, she needs advise desperately.

PLEASE HELP ME. DEATH IS ALL I SEE.

I am a young girl in my early twenties, I got a job somewhere September last year after I passed out from one of this affiliated schools where I did a National Diploma program.

Before I started working, I passed through a lot emotionally, physically, mentally and otherwise so this job came as a miracle and a testimony. But barely 2 months into my job, I got very close to my General Manager. He is young and single so am I. One thing led to the other and we started dating.

Now note, he is not the owner of the company but a brother to the owner, so he is third in
command. That aside, before I met this guy, I had been with a guy who stayed with me for 4 years but couldn’t get in between my legs. I was born into a very strict home so at the mention of sex, I run for my life. My ex was tired of waiting so he slept with my flat mate back in school and even got her pregnant. At that time I was able to move on cos my ex was in a different town so it was easy to cut communications. I stayed alone for almost 2 years after my ex till I met this guy. I didn’t stop to think because I so wanted to be in love and have a man to call mine. Barely 4months into the relationship, I give my virginity to him (January 1st precisely) because I thought giving sex will keep him.

But that turned out to be my biggest mistake. He gradually metamorphosed into an indescribable specie. I tried all I could but he always had excuses to treat me bad. On my birthday, he didn’t show up and never even got me handkerchief. In between all this, at least before his change became evident,….

One thing is now we have broken up even though he always tried to stop me from walking away in time past. I just got tired of him insulting and talking me down at every opportunity. Telling me lies and shutting me out of his life, treating me like I was nobody and above all making me just a sex figure in his life. Now that we have broken up, I am so confused cos I don’t know which way forward.

I am just making silly mistakes in my job, I see and I have to report to him everyday. If I quit this job, except by God’s Grace I may not be able to get another good one cos I’m not a graduate. How can I forget and let go of someone I see and work with everyday. I have made a mistake no doubt but where do I go from here. He doesn’t give me trouble yet but I don’t know what to expect. I built my world around this guy and my job and now I feel like am no where in this world.

My mum and step dad doesn’t make coming home rosey, I had no friends apart from him. I work everyday so I practically have no social life. I am living in a hopeless world. In my heart somewhere I wish there is something I can do to get his heart back cos I still love him but somehow I am willing to move on but how can I? He has been flauting several women since after me. I just wish I can take my life to end this whole drama. I’m just 21 and life is already this harsh. No family, No friends, No Love, No education, No Joy, Nothing to live for at all. Please Help me, Please help.

The confusing thing is that he told me I was a girl any man will kill to have in his life and that I did nothing wrong but that he is just confused. I did everything and God knows I never wronged him in anyway. But I can’t place it. When he said he was confused I felt after the break up space he will think but I was wrong cos he has being acting all happy. and he moved on barely a week after.

I am heartbroken and almost going life broken……. Please don’t abuse me, I need help. We all make mistakes.

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