Never leave romance to chance. Sometime we dodge our emotional responsibility by allowing love to just happen, and then think it will just keep happening. That is why it seems easy for someone to just say ‘I do not love home or her anymore’, and we suddenly ‘fall in love’ with someone else. Most times we started wrongly. We wanted sex not love. We just cover our lust and appeal with love. But to smart, please be sure of the qualities you are looking for in the other person? What traits skills or values would fit the bill for you?

Most people have at the top of their lists; Looks. And to be honest physical attractiveness tops our lists. But it is not wrong. Sex appeal is very beautiful. The feel is great. Yet I need to emphasize that there is far more to a relationship then just looks. Physical fineness can get you to be loved, but do not keep you in love. My advice is that we look beyond beauty to find sustaining principles for a lasting love. What brings people together has little to do with what keeps them together. We shouldn’t be drawn by reasons that fade with time, like beauty.

Another advice is that you should find a match for your values, convictions and taste. It is true that opposites attract, but it is hardly so in relationships. Close relationships are more likely to form and last with the person who shares your ideas, values, and desires, etc. It takes time to know the things you have in common. That should be your first attractiveness.

Pay attention to values. Those we date constantly give us clues about what makes them and what they believe. Notice what makes them laugh, what they fear, what they desire, how they spend their time. This is because, no matter how good someone presents himself to you, they won’t change their real person that easily. We can’t really change anyone. So settle in your heart whether you can accept what you see. You shouldn’t be under pressure to change too.

‘Rules are for games, not relationship’, someone once said. People play games when they want to lure, and manipulate another person. If you are looking for love that goes the distance, avoid playing the game as much as you can. Just be real, and express how you are.

A love that lasts is not the one that has everything smooth and sweet. It is the one that endures. In relationship, a lot would have to be endured for it to last. In fact I tell people, we must endure what we want to enjoy. That is the reality of the love life. Wish you well.

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